{"id":37703,"date":"2023-09-27T17:38:37","date_gmt":"2023-09-27T14:38:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/psnews.ro\/?p=37703"},"modified":"2023-09-28T09:39:42","modified_gmt":"2023-09-28T06:39:42","slug":"raluca-anton-psiholog-nimeni-nu-se-cearta-din-bucurie-discutiile-grele-vin-din-suferinta","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/psnews.ro\/raluca-anton-psiholog-nimeni-nu-se-cearta-din-bucurie-discutiile-grele-vin-din-suferinta\/","title":{"rendered":"Raluca Anton, psiholog: \u201eNimeni nu se ceart\u0103 din bucurie. Discu\u021biile grele vin din suferin\u021b\u0103\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Invitata Mihaelei Tatu, psihologul <a href=\"https:\/\/ralucaanton.ro\/\">Raluca Anton<\/a> \u00ee\u0219i continu\u0103 incursiunea \u00een\u00a0 rela\u021biile noastre, oprindu-se de data aceasta la suferin\u021bele pe care le provoc\u0103m, con\u0219tient sau nu, celuilalt.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201eCreierul uman, spune aceasta, are nevoie de ceva ce noi, in psihologie, numim <em>coreglare<\/em>, adic\u0103 nevoia de a \u00eemp\u0103rt\u0103\u0219i. \u00cen rela\u021biile de cuplu se vede foarte bine asta, \u0219i \u00een rela\u021biile de prietenie. Am f\u0103cut ceva, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-mi dau seama, ceva ce te-a r\u0103nit \u00een trecut. Eu sunt con\u0219tient\u0103 de faptul c\u0103 nu mai pot \u00eentoarce timpul \u00eenapoi ca s\u0103 schimb asta. Dar simplul fapt \u0219i nu e deloc at\u00e2t de simplu, c\u0103 tu ai posibilitatea de a-mi spune cum ai suferit, ce ai sim\u021bit, cum a fost pentru tine ceea ce am f\u0103cut eu, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eenvinov\u0103\u021be\u0219ti sau s\u0103 m\u0103 blamezi, \u00eenseamn\u0103 enorm. Faptul c\u0103 eu pot s\u0103 stau cu tine \u0219i cu suferin\u021ba ta, asta poate fi vindec\u0103tor de fapt. Eu nu mai pot s\u0103 schimb trecutul, chiar dac\u0103 eu am generat suferin\u021ba aceea\u201d, spune Raluca Anton.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>La \u00eentrebarea Mihaelei: Cum s\u0103 facem ca acest dialog s\u0103 fie civilizat, s\u0103 nu arate ca o \u00eenvinuire, a\u0219a cum se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 de obicei, referindu-se \u0219i la cel care a fost r\u0103nit \u0219i la cel care a fost generatorul suferin\u021bei, psihologul r\u0103spunde:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201ePacea, calmul sunt consecin\u021bele unui exerci\u021biu constant. Nu prea se pot face lucrurile astea a\u0219a, dintr-o dat\u0103. Ne a\u0219ez\u0103m noi, dou\u0103, aici \u0219i spunem: Haide, Mihaela s\u0103 st\u0103m aici \u0219i eu s\u0103-\u021bi spun cum am suferit&#8230; Nu merge, este steril. Lucrurile astea vin \u00eentr-un context emo\u021bional. De fapt, ceea ce este important este s\u0103 nu uit\u0103m c\u0103 ceea ce auzim este despre suferin\u021ba celuilalt, chiar dac\u0103 acolo apar \u0219i eu. E foarte greu s\u0103 faci asta. Modul cum vii tu spre mine s\u0103-mi spui toate astea \u021bine de felul cum ai gestionat tu lucrurile astea de-a lungul timpului. Fiecare are nevoie s\u0103 fie v\u0103zut, auzit. Pentru ca eu s\u0103 te ascult, v\u0103d, aud, trebuie ca eu s\u0103 fiu capabil s\u0103-mi accept propria suferin\u021b\u0103 trezit\u0103 de ceea ce spui, \u00a0\u00een timp ce te aud. Este vorba despre un spa\u021biu rela\u021bional \u00eentre noi cu leg\u0103turi invizibile \u2013 care ne duc la comportamente imprevizibile: ridic vocea, te \u00eenvinov\u0103\u021besc&#8230;\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>De fapt, subliniaz\u0103 invitata, cea mai important\u0103 intrebare este: oare, pot s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleg cu adev\u0103rat ce \u021bi se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103, s\u0103 te ascult p\u00e2n\u0103 la cap\u0103t, s\u0103 te \u00eentrerup doar ca s\u0103 v\u0103d dac\u0103 am \u00een\u021beles cum trebuie?<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201eMomentul, spa\u021biul acesta care se creeaz\u0103 este unul de siguran\u021b\u0103, \u00een care fiecare \u0219tie c\u0103 poate \u00eemp\u0103rt\u0103\u0219i, c\u0103 va fi ascultat \u0219i auzit. Noi venim deseori \u0219i spunem: <em>Dar nici tu nu faci asta<\/em>. Sau: <em>Tu, \u00eentotdeauna faci asta&#8230;,<\/em> sau <em>Tu, niciodat\u0103<\/em>&#8230; facem aceste generaliz\u0103ri care vin dintr-o suferin\u021b\u0103. Nimeni nu se ceart\u0103 din bucurie. Discu\u021biile grele pe care le avem, le avem din suferin\u021b\u0103. \u0218i asta nu arat\u0103 dec\u00e2t c\u0103 nu \u0219tim cum s\u0103 gestion\u0103m contextul acela care doare,\u201d afirm\u0103 psihoterapeutul.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>\u00cen ce prive\u0219te posibilitatea de vindecare a r\u0103nilor de familie, Raluca Anton, doctor \u00een psihologie, specialist \u00een terapie cognitiv-comportamental\u0103, spune c\u0103 rela\u021biile pot fi vindecate, dar \u0219i c\u0103 \u00a0vindecarea nu \u00eenseamn\u0103 neap\u0103rat a merge \u00eentotdeauna pe acela\u0219i drum, lucru care este de multe ori o iluzie.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201eVindecarea se bazeaz\u0103 pe capacitatea de a asculta, de a \u00een\u021belege \u0219i asta este extrem de dificil de f\u0103cut, dar nu imposibil\u201d, subliniaz\u0103 invitata Mihaelei Tatu.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Urm\u0103re\u0219te edi\u021bia cu <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=p7zgk4Q0Yh0&amp;t=1857s\">psihologul Raluca Anton, aici.<\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>Emisiunea\u00a0<\/strong><em>S\u0103n\u0103tate, tuturor<\/em><strong>!, <em>cu Mihaela Tatu, <\/em>\u00a0este prezentat\u0103 de\u00a0<\/strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.teamdentalclinic.ro\/\">Team Dental Clinic Timi\u0219oara.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>CITE\u0218TE \u0218I: <a href=\"https:\/\/psnews.ro\/raluca-anton-psiholog-primul-pas-sa-nu-mai-dam-vina-pe-ceilalti\/\">Primul pas: s\u0103 nu mai d\u0103m vina pe ceilal\u021bi.\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Invitata Mihaelei Tatu, psihologul Raluca Anton \u00ee\u0219i continu\u0103 incursiunea \u00een\u00a0 rela\u021biile noastre, oprindu-se de data aceasta la suferin\u021bele pe care le provoc\u0103m, con\u0219tient sau nu, celuilalt. \u201eCreierul uman, spune aceasta, are nevoie de ceva ce noi, in psihologie, numim coreglare, adic\u0103 nevoia de a \u00eemp\u0103rt\u0103\u0219i. \u00cen rela\u021biile de cuplu se vede foarte bine asta, \u0219i [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":37708,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_eb_attr":"","_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[7897,8964,7896],"ppma_author":[2054],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v22.6 (Yoast SEO v22.6) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Raluca Anton, psiholog: \u201eNimeni nu se ceart\u0103 din bucurie. 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